In a nocturnal state, the consciousness of humans are questionable to be reasonable or not. This entire night is a stringing between Sunday and Monday; when sleep is scarce you perceive everything as one day. I reflect upon the scrutiny that accompanied the past three terms of a high school career. When all others are sound and undisturbed in their slumbers, I am relinquished from responsibility, the rules of honor, faulty respect, and the anonymous doppelganger I erect like a mannequin to society. My mind is no longer bombarded by the ripples caused by distress and problems. I am a still pond. A body of water.
Through a shallower tone, I stay up to enjoy every second left of this annual recess of school and responsibility. I clench to the peak of a cliff trying not to fall back into the jagged rocks at the bottom of the ravine. Holding on for dear life. I realize that my mentality becomes a simple parody of the treatment and lifestyle of a high school. During the hours of the “bell dictator” I replace my lack of sleep for lack of control. The teacher has the last say now. The parent has the last say now. The GPA has the last say now.
During the twilight of these hours, however, I find refuge in my mind. I can come to terms with my faults. Realize what I have done wrong and right. Plan, and then plan to execute. I can imagine silly goals, realistic potentials, and tap into the most creative parts of my being. Yet, merely hours await until I must return to the fight. Return to the jungle of hormone influenced teenage world.
Tomorrow school resumes:
- AP English – It’s a disgrace that the career I most long to follow is at the dusk of the school’s hours. Hours I cannot function within and find difficult to stay awake. My physical limitations are the only thing keeping me from complete success in this class. I currently hold a B.
- APUSH – Whether its goofing around with a friend or not taking the teacher as seriously as I should, my childish persona outweighs my strive for intellectual knowledge of the past, present, and future of our society and economical trends. The tests seem intricate and greatly detailed. Some people get this class better than others. I have a D.
- Math – Simple really. I’m quiet here. No one of great interest to talk to and I find my personality would be way too upbeat to custom the majority. I have a C.
- APAC – Due to past incidents and tribulations, a theme of betrayal and deceit, and a growing hatred for the very seams of the curriculum. This class has become profoundly emotional. I have given pieces of my soul to every student in this classroom and have a strong connection for them all truly, yet I grow more and more hatred for the atmosphere itself. Something doesn’t add up. I have a D, barely.
- AP Psychology – This is the most mellow class. Closely imitating the atmosphere of a television sitcom, I cannot help but expect a “Boy Meets World” logo to suddenly appear on screen and a short sponsored commercial to follow. Every word I say in this class is perfectly rehearsed and delivered. This wins the prize of most comfortable. I have a C.
- Chemistry – Oddly enough, the class that has proven to have one of the strictest teacher is also the one that I best feel most knowledgeable in. The topic of chemistry flows easily into my mental capacity and I take full responsibility for last quarters D for not doing my homework when I should.
This is the grounds I currently stand on with each of these classes.
This is what I resume tomorrow.
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